yes, indeed, it pours outside. i got the day off today, rafting's closed for the season, so let it rain. let it come down like the tears i've shed lately.
topic of the day: substances-the use, and abuse, of chemicals.
(warning: subject matter may not be suitable for all persons. take caution when reading the following)
they're everywhere, from the meadow that is my back yard, to inside the pocket of a guy next to me. they've always been around, i'm sure of this, but lately, i'm so excrutiatingly aware. the problem is that i don't know how to be a positive influence to some of these people with whom i live and care about. i come here to not only save money and have a good summer, but to return to a simple, happy, and healthy lifestyle, and i've become distracted in the past few weeks, more often than not, by situations/people under the influence of one substance or another. for one thing, everyone (i know this is a generalization, but it's a judgement call here, and i'm making it) either drinks or smokes. that's the minimum--i can think of two people who don't touch even one drop of alcohol or a single cigarette, that's it-two. it's just too easy here, to fall into bad habits without the slightest bit of inhibition. i'll admit, i've been way too casual about drinking, and i'm gonna chill out for a second so that i may re-focus and rehabilitate myself, and get into the good habits i've been meaning to form. but mainly my stress over this involves one person in particular (who i shall currently keep nameless) for whom i have grown to adore, in a very intense and honest sense. his presence in my life has caused me to examine in great detail where my boundaries lie and how to be strong for myself and for others. it has become a great lesson for me on trust, love, and stability. i am [waveringly] optimistic. ultimately, i foresee positive changes, but am working on accepting that this lesson is a challenge that will require time, and more patience than i am accustomed to dealing with. i have plans to attend an AL-ANON meeting tomorrow evening, where hopefully i'll find a little peace of mind and reassurance. once again, this wonderous place has succeeded in raising new and unexpected challenges. c'est la vie.
on an un-related note, i think i'll be changing my phone service as soon as i can get into a town where i can do so. be prepared, as i may have to change my phone number (but i'll be able to talk in the valley, bitches, haha!)
so once i get back into the swing of school, i think i'm going to study metalsmithing, human sexuality, and perhaps minor in dance, provided the educational institute i find offers dance. otherwise, maybe i'll just take some classes on the side, but i miss structured dancing. we dance a lot at the mobil concerts, but it's not the same...oh yeah, so there's a mobil gas station out on the east side that we go to occassionally to see concerts. the place is like nothing i've ever seen: it's a gas station with a four star restaurant inside and live music outside, which we drive two hours from the valley to go eat fish tacos and dance the night away, teehee. it's the little things, really. speaking of food, i'm hungry, i'm gonna go find some.
cheers!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
one in the hand is worth two in the bush, bear!
So, we'll see how this blog thing works out...I'm hoping it will prove to be a good way of keeping in touch without the annoyance I feel when using email...
I'd like to paint a quick mental picture of my current environment: I'm sitting in the Great Room of the Ahwahnee (sp?) during tea time, while the pianist behind me keys out some non-descript mellow tunes and tourists walk through, stopping for some tea and cookies. A woman sat next to me a while ago and we chatted for a couple of minutes before she got up and went back to her family at the pool. Her cup of tea is abandoned on the other side of the table, and the dirtbag in me is thinking of finishing it before it gets to cold. haha...
In comparison, this summer has been quite different from last, but only in the details. The water is sparse this year, and rafting is about to close in the next couple of days. My boss, Sean, has declared Sunday the last day, maybe staying open Mon. and Tues. just for the extra 30K we can make on raft rentals, but no way are we dealing with fourth of July tourists bitching that they didn't come here to drag a boat down the river for three miles. Sweet. I'm glad we're on the same page, because if Memorial Day weekend is any indication of what the fourth is like, I could lose my job for telling off some idiot guest. Now that we won't be open, I can more easily work under Guestpath standards for another day, bleh. Complaints aside, working at the raft stand is a pretty sweet gig. It's super-chill, so much sometimes, that I feel like I'm slacking off when there's really just nothing to do--it's a lot of waiting for people. Cashiering sucks and I'll remember that in the future, do not apply for cashiering positions. Yesterday a family came and didn't realize they couldn't bring pets, so I got to dog-sit for the day until they came back from the river, and the father tipped me 20 bucks for the service, which was really just a treat for me since I've grown up always having a cat.
There was a week recently where 3 rock slides occured within 2 days of each other, one of them happened a few hundred yards from my housing area. No one was hurt, mom, it's all good! The foundation on one of the new housing buildings cracked and they closed off Curry boulders, but it's still possible to get in there and work on those problems. A few days after that, two earthquakes shook in Mammoth and we felt 'em down here in the valley. I kinda flipped out cuz I was in that funky state of consciousness between being awake and asleep when it happened, and jumped up to run from a rockslide, but my roomie said it was just an earthquake and go back to bed.
This past week has been full of birthdays, Ian (my roommate) included. Elyse threw a super-hero party for her birthday. It was such a blast, as costume parties usually are. Ian and one of the Kansas Wills dressed up as Ace and Gary, the Ambiguously Gay Duo from SNL. I almost died laughing so hard, they wouldn't break character either for anything--Ian was doing squats in line at the store and all the tourists had expressions of confusion and disgust on their faces, haha!
Anyhow, I'm sick of being plugged in, I think I'm going to go finish my book down by the river, maybe jump in, I need a shower. And food, food would be good too, I got a rumbly in my tumbly.
Please, feel free to respond with your latest and let me know how this form of communication is working out.
Oh, and I also learned recently that we need at least 13 hugs a day for health and clarity, use that beta as you will. Cheers!
*H
I'd like to paint a quick mental picture of my current environment: I'm sitting in the Great Room of the Ahwahnee (sp?) during tea time, while the pianist behind me keys out some non-descript mellow tunes and tourists walk through, stopping for some tea and cookies. A woman sat next to me a while ago and we chatted for a couple of minutes before she got up and went back to her family at the pool. Her cup of tea is abandoned on the other side of the table, and the dirtbag in me is thinking of finishing it before it gets to cold. haha...
In comparison, this summer has been quite different from last, but only in the details. The water is sparse this year, and rafting is about to close in the next couple of days. My boss, Sean, has declared Sunday the last day, maybe staying open Mon. and Tues. just for the extra 30K we can make on raft rentals, but no way are we dealing with fourth of July tourists bitching that they didn't come here to drag a boat down the river for three miles. Sweet. I'm glad we're on the same page, because if Memorial Day weekend is any indication of what the fourth is like, I could lose my job for telling off some idiot guest. Now that we won't be open, I can more easily work under Guestpath standards for another day, bleh. Complaints aside, working at the raft stand is a pretty sweet gig. It's super-chill, so much sometimes, that I feel like I'm slacking off when there's really just nothing to do--it's a lot of waiting for people. Cashiering sucks and I'll remember that in the future, do not apply for cashiering positions. Yesterday a family came and didn't realize they couldn't bring pets, so I got to dog-sit for the day until they came back from the river, and the father tipped me 20 bucks for the service, which was really just a treat for me since I've grown up always having a cat.
There was a week recently where 3 rock slides occured within 2 days of each other, one of them happened a few hundred yards from my housing area. No one was hurt, mom, it's all good! The foundation on one of the new housing buildings cracked and they closed off Curry boulders, but it's still possible to get in there and work on those problems. A few days after that, two earthquakes shook in Mammoth and we felt 'em down here in the valley. I kinda flipped out cuz I was in that funky state of consciousness between being awake and asleep when it happened, and jumped up to run from a rockslide, but my roomie said it was just an earthquake and go back to bed.
This past week has been full of birthdays, Ian (my roommate) included. Elyse threw a super-hero party for her birthday. It was such a blast, as costume parties usually are. Ian and one of the Kansas Wills dressed up as Ace and Gary, the Ambiguously Gay Duo from SNL. I almost died laughing so hard, they wouldn't break character either for anything--Ian was doing squats in line at the store and all the tourists had expressions of confusion and disgust on their faces, haha!
Anyhow, I'm sick of being plugged in, I think I'm going to go finish my book down by the river, maybe jump in, I need a shower. And food, food would be good too, I got a rumbly in my tumbly.
Please, feel free to respond with your latest and let me know how this form of communication is working out.
Oh, and I also learned recently that we need at least 13 hugs a day for health and clarity, use that beta as you will. Cheers!
*H
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